101 ways to kill Shunsui
by SukiKyoufu
Summary: After the war Lilynette was left with no one, since her partner was murdered by a shinigami with a pink cape... Shunsui Kyoraku but she has found and outlet. A diary of various ways to kill Shunsui a 101 ways exactly!. Each chapter will be a different way on how she will murder the captain all from her perspective.
1. Death by acid

_Authors note: This was a little fun thing i had between a roleplayer on tumblr my Lilynette killing their Shunsui xD I hope you guys enjoy. It will all be in Lilynette's pov since it's her diary entries. OH and those of you followed boarding school terror i will be updating that within the month i promise!._

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_January 19th_

_Our birthday… only there are no us. He's gone now, dead. Killed by the Shinigami with the floral pink cape. I can't wait to see him on his death bed, watching him take his last breath as he leaves this world. I will get my revenge!, I will kill him for what he did, for ripping the only thing I had left in this world…_

_Starrk…_

_I promise I will kill that moron! PIERCE HIM THROUGH THE HEART WITH MY SWORD. I will get out of Heuco Mundo and run him through, watch as he bleeds, watch as he realises I have taken his life… tear him apart like he did me._

_Right so my plan… well I SHALL NAME THIS THE 101 WAYS OF KILLING THE GAY IDIOT CAPTAIN._

_It will start out with me sneaking into the soul society, undetected of course because I am good at this. Good at being unnoticed and quiet… kind of. WELL anyway I sneak in and find his base of operations, it must be some kind of base… draped in pink possibly? OR FLOWERS! THERE HAS TO BE FLOWERS!. Right find base or home whatever they call that crap. Then I shall sneak in hide under his desk, he won't even know I am there cause he will be… sleeping? Or doing paperwork… or I DON'T KNOW BUT HE WILL BE BUSY!. Then I shall sit there waiting for my moment, waiting for the oprtune time to strike!. When he is distracted I will make my attempt. I will come up behind him and… and…_

_Well how should I do it? Run him through with a sword but that seems to plain too boring. OH! I could fire a cero at that moron… but would it kill him? Probably not he seems like he would be okay in power I mean Starrk was clearly more powerful than him. He just refused to use it since his is a gentleman and has morals… yeah that's it. Starrk was kind and wouldn't hurt a fly, why would someone take advantage of that?. That stupid captain was wrong! Sick in the head for doing such a thing. Right so back to what's important not using a sword okay… not going to use a cero no. I know! I shall steal a bottle of Szayels chemicals and burn him with it. Watch as the acid tears away his skin… oh ho then he will understand my pain. Understand what I went through, how he tore me apart!._

_Getting back to my brilliant plan, he was distracted blah blah blah I sneak up behind him and pounce on his back. Since he will obviously have his back turned at this moment, that's the time I would strike of course… I'm not an idiot. Well then he would naturally scream in terror with that stupid girly voice of his, since I am strong and an enemy seeking revenge. Who wouldn't be afraid? Loads of people fear me anyway!. Then I will laugh as I pour acid on him, watch as it tears through his skin burning away all hope he ever had. Ripping him from shred to shred, a lingering and long lasting pain. That's the way to do it. By making him suffer, letting him writhe in pain and scream at the top of his girl voice going save me! Save me!._

_Ha! This is brilliant that is how the shinigami will come to an end. Maybe then he might understand what he did to me… the suffering I went through, still going through. This might be what I need to help move on, try to find what was lost. Try to find that one thing to cure the loneliness… a family. I just wish I had that back, but I can't. That stupid idiot of a shinigami ruined that. Ruined my only family, a piece of me that I will never get back… ever and this is why I will kill him. Ruin him like he did me._

_I'm only repaying a favour that's not exactly bad is it? An eye for an eye! So this is a life for a life he deserves it! Deserves the pain… deserves to lose everything he holds dear to him. Yes that is my reason I don't care if people think I am childish for it… well I think they think I'm childish anyway not that I care. Ah well what does it matter I'm going to kill him and that will be the end of it._

_LILYNETTE OUT!~_


	2. Death by drowning

_Authors note: So this is going to be a daily thing... well try to be if not weekly like i have told you guys before it's in Lilys pov and i will get to my other story it's just i have no inspiration from it... so i don't know if i will cancel it or not yet. Anywho enjoy_

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_February 12th_

_So I didn't get to do yesterday's plan… well it wasn't one of the best ideas, I mean I can come up with something better, something even worse to torture him with!. Hmm… right so this time I will be in the world of the living disguised as a child… that has lost its parents. Or should I dress up as an old lady with all those wrinkles, grey frizzy hair oh oh also dark eyes and really crappy make up. HA! Imagine me looking like an old bag it'd be like Gin in a few years… he does have grey hair and all. I wonder how old he is?. Like maybe he dyes his hair that colour, but who'd want to appear old?. Either way I shall have a disguise and no one will know it is me! Since I am the master of all plans, they're flawless and no one will expect it to be me. HA! JUST YOU WANT SHUNSUI I WILL GET MY REVENGE._

_Right so as I was saying my brilliant plan involves me in disguise I haven't quite figured out how I will be dressed yet but let's assume it's a great disguise. I mean I am strong and awesome at this so it will be good. There I'll be in the world of the living, I'll send some form of signal to do with my pressure, maybe wreak some havoc to get some attention. In return those stupid Shinigamis will send none other than that moron down here to check it out, hopefully he doesn't bring sickly with him… tch that idiot who refused to fight cause I was a child, what an absolute idiot that captain was. I wonder if he is dead yet? Wouldn't surprise me…_

_Anyway back to the master of all plans I'll be standing in a field, no wait playground yes that's it a playground cause I will use the lost child disguise!. I shall sit upon the swings waiting for him/ I mean he will be the one to go there I just know he would. The night would be upon us and no one will be around it will have the eerie silent feel, of course this is all for effect, to add to the atmosphere when I murder that idiot. So I have this far all planned out now I just need a method to dispose of him. What should I do this time? I ruled out those two stupid ideas before and yesterday was all about the acid. Hmm… I could always beat him to death with a baseball bat? That's what they're called right? Eh I think so… nah that would be too messy and I wear white so it could stain. Nah don't want blood everywhere especially that idiots, so a clean death would be best._

_FOR GODS SAKE WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO THINK OF WAYS TO KILL SOMEONE! DAMMIT I'M A HOLLOW THIS SHOULD BE EASY… Ergh well I suppose I could eat him!.. well that's not my thing really, plus he'd probably taste disgusting. I mean have you seen that stupid pink cape of his? AND all that sake he has… YUCK! He's probably more alcohol than anything, what an idiot… talk about drink himself to death. OH! I HAVE IT I HAVE THE MOST BRILLIANT IDEA EVER!._

_So he will be in this big playground thing where I'm on the swings well what he doesn't know is that behind me there is a big swimming pool. Not just any swimming pool it will be filled to the brim with sake. With that amount you'd probably just get drunk from the fumes alone. Heh well he will be curious from the smell and why a cute innocent child like me is there. He won't recognise me since I am in disguise. So then he approaches this pool of alcohol and leans down inspecting it forgetting that I am there swinging away since he is stupid and would forget such a simple thing. I mean idiot right? Forgetting that a child would be near a swimming pool of alcohol.. pfft and this guy is a captain. THIS WAS THE GUY WHO MURDERED THE ONE THING I HAD LEFT!._

_So THEN! I will strike I will push him in, he will be so shocked that he'll choke on some of the sake just from surprise. There he'll be coughing and spluttering, me I'll be laughing of course as I grab him by the head and dunk it under the alcohol. Holding him there so he drowns, oh ho he will be gasping for that last breathe of his, clinging on for dear life. I won't care one bit, after all he's done much worse to me he deserves this! Starrk didn't deserve to die that day! He didn't deserve what happened to him… such an unfitting death to the Primera… to my family. Idiot and do you know what makes this revenge even sweeter; it's the fact that he will be drowning in his favourite drink. Struggling around in his favourite substance gagging for some form of air… HA! Serves him right the prick now he can drown all the sins he has done! Wash away all those deaths he has caused._

_MY BRILLIANT PLAN IS FLAWLESS AND HE WILL BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF IT! Just you wait Shunsui you will get your comeuppance._

_LILYNETTE OUT~_


	3. Death by fire

_Authors note: third part hope you all enjoy it_

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_March 3rd_

_Okay so I realised now that those two plans kinda sucked… PFFT NO OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T I mean drowning Shunsui in sake? Flawless. Anyway today is a new day so it means that plan didn't work… well didn't go how I wanted it too Ergh who cares about how it didn't go well… no one asked you so shut up!... So like I said today is a new plan, a new way to kill pinky… I like that nickname for him oh I have plenty of nicknames for that moron. Let me see; pinky, moron, gay pinky, stupid pink Shinigami, drunken idiot, murderer, creep… ERGH HE IS JUST AN IDIOT OKAY! No need to go on about his nicknames this is about killing!._

_So moving past that plan, stupid pinky won't know what's hit him with this one! Ah I'll get him good this time there will be no escape from me! LILYNETTE WILL REIN SUPREME. So this time I have decided he will come here to Heuco Mundo, I will get him here somehow probably bug Szayel to do it… I could bribe him, I have the means I mean I have proof of him hiding that picture of Aizen he has. HE KEEPS IT UNDER HIS PILLOW!, it has a pink fluffy frame and everything… HA! I knew he loved Aizen I mean it was obvious. So bribe him with that and he will get pinky into Heuco Mundo for me._

_So that's step one complete getting him here, at first he will be lost in the desert out there. That will give me time to set up my trap!. Oh ho pinky won't know what's hit him this time, ha! He is a moron. NOW HE WILL FACE THE MUSIC!. So as i was saying he comes into Heuco Mundo lost in the sands of the endless desert out there until oh.. he notices a random bottle of sake lying around. He'll be all what's this doing here… AH! Probably poison… I'm not an idiot… except he is cause it isn't poison it's just to mess with him at first!._

_After noticing that he will walk along casually minding his own business until he notices another bottle of sake, then another!. So he will begin to follow them leading him to Las Noches. Oh this will be like leading a mouse straight into a trap cept with sake not cheese. I don't know if stupid pinky likes cheese but either way he likes sake! So that's good enough for me. Means I can kill him and all, that stupid murderer; who murdered someone dear to me…. I will kill him for this._

_Okay so I was leading him to Las Noches he will move inside finding a door and it will lead him into a room that's completely dark, no light, no way of seeing anything. But he will be able to hear my footsteps! Cause I can't hide them so he will be able to hear me walking towards him. Well I think it's a little nice of me cause it will give him time to expect something to happen. Give him time to be scared cause He'll be all scared hearing my footsteps and feeling my strong presence… I mean who wouldn't?. He will know it's me coming for revenge after what he did. Leaving me with nothing…_

_Back to pinky and being all scared in that dark room… I bet he's afraid of the dark you know, Ha! An old man scared of the dark what a moron. Well anyway back to him being all scared and hearing me walk through the room. I have him in my clutches now, all that's left would be to kill him. So.. how would I do it now.. I've already drowned him in his favourite substance so this time OH I have it… it's a brilliant idea and everything!._

_I will come up from behind and tie him up! So he can't move and he will struggle and everything but my bindings will be so tight he'll barely be able to breathe. Then I'll get out a marker and draw on his face, a moustache would be fitting. THEN! With the marker I will put x's on his eyes to represent him dead!. This is brilliant so far. Once I'm done with marker I will then grab the bottles of sake he collected on his way and pour it all over him. Making sure he is drenched in that stuff._

_Once he is drenched I shall then get out my matches lighting one so he can see my face briefly before I drop the lit match on him. The flames will take to his cape well at first and then before you know it the rest of him will be on fire!. HA! Brilliant burn the idiot alive… ah well goodbye pinky NO ONE CARES._

_He will of course be screaming in pain writhing in agony and I will just stand there and watch as the flames burn his skin. I will watch as his body turns to ash… watch the whites of his eyes as he dies. It's only fair…_

_Murderer you deserve everything that's coming to you and I WILL make sure it happens. Goodbye Pinky! Have a nice life… oh wait DEATH!_

_LILYNETTE OUT~_


	4. Death by Poison

Hope you guys like the new entry

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_May 16th_

_Ergh so here I am yet again writing a new entry. So of course that means I failed. It wasn't my fault though! I just wasn't allowed to leave random sake bottles around. I was told that there was a drunken Ulquiorra waltzing about actually showing emotion. That's not a bad thing though! Bout time emo showed some, least we know he isn't a robot. It's not like anyone died or anything I mean come on… anyway enough of that. New way to kill Mr Pinky pants well more like cape but you get what I mean right? Pfft course you do we'll I do it's not like anyone will find my book of ways to kill Shunsui. That would be awkward explaining that to someone, not that I care anyway. Stupid pink wearing cape moron that kills people for no reason!. I don't even understand why he did it... I mean why? Sure we're enemies but Starrks not like that. He wouldn't hurt anyone not unless he had to… unless it was ordered of him. I just… wanted things to go differently. For him to still be here… Tch moron that pink caped idiot is going to die today! And I'm going to enjoy every minute of pain he is in. Ha! And today I have chosen how he shall die! Today it will be a brilliant plan, don't know why I didn't think of it before but oh well. I thought of it now and that's all that matters cause today will be the day he dies! Thanks to me! Lilynette the most awesome Arrancar there is. Well more like the most strongest! I was a part of the Primera._

_So back to the way of killing him… this time I will sneak out of Heuco Mundo but I will have to make a stop at Kisuke's since he has costumes in the back. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS HE IS A DIRTY OLD CREEPY MAN SO I ASSUMED OKAY?. My plan is flawless don't you go judging me?... Wait no one is going to read this so why am I even writing about that… Ergh anyway like I told you I'm going there for a costume, NOT JUST ANY COSTUME!. It will be a Shinigami uniform one that his stupid girl thingy wears… I think her name is Nanao? I don't know and I don't care. I just know I am stealing her identity for today. I need it for purposes okay?. I KNOW I AM SHORT but I have that covered okay… I will wear stilts so I will be her height! Yes I will have a wig and those stupid glasses. I HAVE IT ALL COVERED OKAY._

_So now this means I have to get into the Soul Society after I have dressed up like this Nanao. Again with stupid hat guys help I shall get into the Soul Society undetected!. Hat guy won't even know what happened, by that time it will be too late I would already be in the Soul Society killing that stupid moron!. Like I said before they won't know what's hit em!. Honestly he deserves it what else would I do hug him for what he did? I think not who would hug someone that killed the closest thing I had to a family!. I swear people think I am stupid or something… is it because I am a child?. Why do people think I am a child anyway? I do know things! I do understand… I feel just as much pain as everyone else. It's not like I'm not the same as others, why don't people understand?._

_Tch back to the plan anyway so I'm all dressed like the prissy knickers, her name again? I think it was Nanao. Anyway dressed like her I will enter Pinky's division. Everyone will buy this disguise because I will look exactly like Miss Prissy. Did I forget to mention I had a sake bottle with me?, well I have a Sake bottle with me and this time I laced it with poison. Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking but you said you wasn't gonna do it that way. WELL SURPRISE! I lied. I decided this time that the best way to hurt Pinky was to poison him with his favourite drink BY his own subordinate!. HA! Pretty evil of me huh? I thought it was gold, he should feel the amount of pain I did!. HE DESERVES THIS!._

_Back to me walking through the division I knock on his door to find Pinky sleeping cause is a lazy ass!... much like Starrk…. ANYWAY he will be asleep snoring away using that stupid hat of his to shield his eyes. Moving over to him I shall kneel beside him and shake him awake, drowsily he will be all oh my sweet Nanao-chan~… I'll just nod because he won't notice since he will be too half asleep to care. Ha! Moron you would have thought people would be more alert huh? Especially when you have someone seeking out revenge. Right so half asleep Pinky will notice the Sake bottle, of course I'd hand it to him giving a small smile and a nod to tell him to drink up. That moron thinking nothing of it will drink the liquid laced with poison; only realising when it's too late!._

_He will cough and splutter trying to get that liquid out of his system but it's far too late. You see this poison I got from Szayel is deadly and can reach the heart within seconds of consumption least I think that's what he said. I don't remember it was something along those lines, but I made sure there was no odour cause you never know with Pinky sometimes he can be smart so I thought well why the hell not to be on the safe side. So this time his death will not only be caused by his favourite substance but also by his own Shinigami… maybe a little cruel but that's nothing to what he did to me._

_Ha! This time will be the time he will die, as he chokes on that poison I will slowly remove the wig revealing my face showing him that it was me LILYNETTE! The one who got her revenge! The one who planned everything to make sure it went smoothly. Ha! This time I will work! This time I will have him for sure…_

_This time…_

_He will die for what he has done…_

_LILYNETTE OUT~_


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